Moving Forward

I didn't walk away.






Not completely, though I had to talk through every possibility with Paul so that I could feel good about whatever I ended up choosing. Stupid bike.

I did not complete a triathlon, but chose the one event that haunted me the most in the six months of training: the 500 m open water swim in Jimbaran Bay.

I will never do it again, so this helped me deal with the incredible disappointment of the bike debacle here. The poor woman at this end who was in charge of the rentals seemed more devastated than I was. The bike was even too big for Paul, and so were two others proposed to us at 5:30 this morning.

So, I swam. And, man, that is totally hard. I stopped twice en route and couldn't see where I was going. I did the back stroke, front crawl, float and dog paddle. I love the dog paddle. It saved my ass today. Another plus was the bathing suit I agonized over and purchased last January. The one piece wrestler suit was not out of place here at all. Swimming is not for weaklings, not that I ever thought that, but wow. All the stuff I learned about breathing and form and all of that evaporated the nanosecond my toes touched water.

I finished second to last of the yellow-capped sprint tri crew in less than 30 minutes, my fastest time ever for that distance! Oh the irony.

The person who finished first in the 1500 m event was done in just under 22 minutes, a result which in itself knocked the breath out of me.

Now, I will enjoy the rest of our Bali and Lombok vacation with Paul. We leave for the Gili Islands and Paul's scuba diving expedition tomorrow.



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Location:Jimbaran

Size Matters

I could write this in the form of a letter, but I would not know how. Really.

It is 3:05 a.m. and the race starts at 7:30 a.m. The transition area opens at 5:00.

Paul, my husband arrived yesterday. I get better and longer holidays than he does, and so I opted to travel here a little before the race event. All was clockwork beautiful. In fact, right now, Paul has melatonined himself into an unconscious, though evidently blissful state. I sit here anxious and sleepless. All was going according to plan. I know, the word itself is an invitation to the universe to muck things up.

...which it did.


The organizers of the bike rental thought they were doing me a favour when they offered to deliver the bike and helmet to my hotel. Wrong. Unfortunately, the delivery people didn't arrive when they said they would and so I wasn't here to receive the stuff. I was at the race site picking up all the things you need for a triathlon, such as bibs and safety pins, entry bracelets, bathing caps and coupons. I would have known immediately that there was trouble had I been here when the cursed equipment arrived. Also, I missed the bike blessing ceremony on Friday which might have given my performance an advantage of some kind.

Simply, the bike is good for someone about a foot taller than I am, someone over six feet in height. Me, I'm not a tall person and I am very particular about bikes, particular in that I actually need to be able to touch the ground with my feet. You know that feeling you had as a kid when your mom or dad or older sibling sat you on their huge, giant grown up bike? Maybe you've done this with your own child. That is what this bike is like when I try to use it. I actually need to be physically supported. Plus, it doesn't have proper pedals or traps or anything that a regular running shoe might rest on to set the thing in motion. Aesthetically, it works, but then everything in Bali is pleasing in this way. More or less. Man, I have a headache.

So, there are a few options:

Swim, and not do the cycle part and then run.
See if Paul can do the bike portion.
Switch bikes because lowering the seat is a joke in this.
Walk away from the whole thing.

Votes?

Expletive to the 100th exponent.


- Posted using BlogPress from the iPad that has come into my possession.

Location:Jalan Sanggar Agung,Kuta,Indonesia

Personify This

Dear Credit, Debit and Health Cards,

Look, I am really sorry that I didn't take care of you well enough not to lose you. If it's any consolation, I am really suffering the consequences. There are a few when this happens many thousands of miles from home. Also, believe me when I say that I am really mad at myself now. I feel guilty and drunk with the self loathing that you know I have felt before and that I will probably have again. I really didn't mean to let you out of my sight. And, now, I am paying for it. Please don't enjoy that too much.

We had such good times together, especially you, Health Card. You were practically brand new. Why just last month I had to present you to the nice man at the Hotel Dieu hospital in Montreal for blood tests. Who could forget the crazy antics when we had to return the following week for the poop test? I know. I won't remind you. It is nice knowing that we have some secrets, though. We will have more, I am sure, though hopefully not soon.

And you, Credit card. It is just as well that we part ways, though that latest pay pal stunt is still making both of us a little sick, isn't it? Rememer the time that you got hacked on Skype? Good times. Do not worry about a thing. When I get home, pay pal and everyone else will hear about our breakup. I promise that your short life will not have been in vain. I could never fit my signature properly on your back anyway, so it's all for the best. Yes. I will let all of your friends know that our relationship status has changed. Yes, even iTunes.

I feel actual remorse for you Interac bank card. We have been through a lot, too much. I gave up bank books for you way back when, and you have been nothing but helpful. I have been a terrible girlfriend too, haven't I? I thought you wanted to be used. Please forgive me. I even rearranged my bill payments for you. Oh well. We will have good times again. Remember all those machines? That can't be good for you. Take a break.

No. You are not easy to replace, but I have to do it.

It's me not you.

Yes. I will always remember you, of course.

... A little less to carry for tomorrow's event, I know. I know. Jayzus.




- Posted using BlogPress from the iPad that has come into my possession.

Location:Jimbaran, Bali

Blessed

As I write, it is 4:45 a.m. June 21st, 2012 which, I guess, makes this the longest day of the year and the first day of summer. These two facts are the bread to my sandwich of fear and self-doubt. I woke up worrying about the bike rental for the sprint-tri event: will it be a jalopy? Will it be too big? Will I need to fix the seat? How am I going to do that? Up to now, I have focused my anxiety on the swimming part of the event. It hadn't occurred to me that the biking part might also be my undoing. Plus, the traffic runs on opposite sides of the street here which results in a few tourist casualties, I'm sure.
And the swimming. Lord, the swimming.
When I began this blog six months ago, I think I confessed that I had finished last in a few events. I think I also confessed that I have always had a kind of hope for athletic success that would result from all of this hard work and training, that at worst, I would have my "Breaking Away" moment. I am back to thinking that I will come in last or not finish, or not even start. I have to do a lot of self talk to return to the origins of wanting to do the event in the first place. I will complete the event. Repeat. Ego out of flow. It is not the result that matters in an event which hasn't happened yet, right?




I am a reasonably fit person, mainly from running this eclectic array of races, as you can see. At a boot camp class last year, I was asked by a young woman, maybe 25 years my junior, "Ma'am, are you okay?" The word "ma'am" in itself is an affront. The idea that I would have come across in the class as not okay was more offensive to me. I guess from appearance (read: greying hair) I might be what some people think is polite to call ma'am. It is true that I was a little out of breath and trailed the group during our running segments. In combination with the ma'am, though, this concern really rubbed me the wrong way. This is a nice way of putting it. Ego again?
Yesterday, here in Lovina, Bali, a young girl named Ari was trying to sell me some bracelets on the beach. She is 12 and will probably never leave this place, but she asked me my name and how old I was as if we were peers, a seasoned beach vendor, Ari is at 12. She didn't expect that my answer would be 100. I did not, however, feel patronized in her sweet inquisition. I am so blessed and fortunate to be here in the first place and Ari reminded me of this.




This project has gone from the challenge of signing up and finding swimwear to an all out assault on my confidence at times. I am still in the middle of it, and I suppose just finishing the event is reward enough. This comes from a person who no longer buys lottery tickets because I am genuinely disappointed when I don't win.

Maybe I am not the non competitive person I thought I was.

Happy summer.

- Posted using BlogPress from the iPad that has come into my possession.

Location:Lovina, Bali

Lovina Flow

I had one of the most incredible runs of my life today. This must be what runners call the "high" and I can see why it would be addictive. Chemically, this five minutes of joy must have been the result of a perfect storm of endorphins, serotonin, hormones and actually running downhill. The soundtrack was the Inception theme in a deep house trance d.j. mix in the middle of some weird podcast of dance music I downloaded.

I am having one severe bad hair day after another here, but man that run was awesomely epic.

I cried. There was no effort. It was flow and now I know.

Holy shit. Unfortunately, I will be missing the bike blessing ceremony this Friday in Jimbaran. Paul arrives on Saturday and Sunday is the big day.

According to Mr. Angsoka, the owner of my hotel here in Lovina, Kalibukbuk village, today the Balinese are celebrating iron. I might have missed something in the conversation, but there did seem to be an increased number of offerings while I was out and about.


That run, though. Wow.

- Posted using BlogPress from the iPad that has come into my possession.

Location:Kalibukbuk Village, Bali

Monkey Run

Jet lag kills brain cells, that or mine were already pretty damaged to think that I'd actually do a triathlon scott free. The lack of Scott freedom part has to do with not swimming at all for the few weeks leading up to the race in Jimbaran. As you know, I have a lot of fear about getting physically assaulted and drowning, though uncharacteristically, I am not too worried about finishing that part of the event. But still.

I am in Ubud, Bali for another few hours and in today's morning run, this is what I saw:




I love Monkey Forest Road and didn't expect it to be so literal. At 6:00 a.m. before the tour buses arrive, many dozens of monkeys crisscross the street. I must do research on Monkeys.

Today, Though, I head north to Lovina, in part because at heart I am a beach bum and initially was very attracted to this place because of its name. There have probably been dumber reasons for visiting a place, right?

When I travel, it does take a few days for me to balance the rhythm of cultural differences. I tend to talk too much and laugh too easily when I am nervous, and as I find my place here, I have been doing quite a bit of both so far. Oh well. Still feeling astonished and blessed and (miraculously) injury free, though I did fall down on that Monkey Forest street and have had numerous close calls with the "sidewalks" here. In fact, I witnessed a terrible motorcycle collision yesterday, its sound jarring and disturbing. Two young women walked away perfectly fine.

All the best. Six days to go.

- Posted using BlogPress from the iPad that has come into my possession.

Location:Ubud

Budding in Ubud

It took 36 hours to get here from Toronto. Each leg of the journey was a kind of blessing and now the technology of capturing the moment is causing trouble.




I'm all ears and eyes and awkward sidewalk adjusting limbs here. It's the middle of the night. I am going out for a run this morning even if it kills me. One of the flights, the 13 hour one between Vancouver and Taipei almost did as I was super ill. Very bad. When I informed the lovely flight attendant that I thought I was going to "be sick", she returned in minutes with a fairly large China Airlines plastic shopping bag. Not as discrete as I'd hoped.
I won't go into details.
It's, of course, comical now because it all got much worse before it got better, which it did... in time.
Someone I know from Montreal and haven't seen in years was on the same two flights to Bali. He's on his honeymoon. His wife works as an meteorology analyst for the aviation industry and this seemed like a good luck charm for onward travel.
In the Taipei airport:




See you later.
Ubud is absolutely stunning. My first gado gado was awesome too.
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Location:Jalan Hanoman,Ubud,Indonesia

Getting There

It's the middle of the night. I am in the Vancouver airport after narrowly averting disaster. My flight from Toronto to Vancouver was delayed because a couple and their "two" year old were ejected from the flight. I feel lucky to have managed to run across this huge airport to check in for the 13 hour flight to Teipei. At some point tomorrow (a concept that involves three tomorrows) I will get to Ubud, Bali, the first town on the itinerary.
The run to the gate here in Vancouver is likely to be the only training I'll have for a few days.
Love the taper...




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Running in Traffic

Before I got to this:


I had to cross this:



A little bit of vertigo enhanced the experience.

I leave for Bali next week and the training continues in its way. Since arriving in Toronto, the swimming has vanished.

Here's hoping that thinking is at least as good as doing.



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Countdown

I have been having worried feelings about the training. On the one hand, it's same old same old, putting one foot, or arm (as the case may be) in front of the other. On the other hand, the tri begins with hundreds of people kicking me in the head as their competitive selves hurl forward.

That's a lot of body parts.

I still haven't decided on an outfit, though I did get a race belt and apparently the bike and helmet I've rented will be delivered to the Jimbaran accommodation.

Truth is, I don't see myself doing this kind of race again.

Unless...



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My luck

... has been incredible, though doesn't replace training. I don't own a bicycle.

Confessions:

1. Today is my 4th anniversary of quitting cigarettes.

2. I have only quit the one time.

3. I smoked for 30 years.