The Inaugural Entry

Okay. It's January 3rd and late into the night and early morning, I spent hours online looking at gear for training. I just ordered this suit and am hoping against hope that it isn't too small. I mean, who in God's name orders a bathing suit (or anything for that matter) without trying it on. Especially a bathing suit. The TYR Fusion Aeroback. I am sure it won't be too big.

 My theory on swimsuits has always been that there is no such thing as too big, not on me anyway. Then again, I am no competitive Olympic swimmer...plus, I figured this getup offers massive coverage. Massive and complete coverage. Also, swimming lessons wouldn't hurt. I don't want to be disingenuous here by emphasizing how naturally non/un-athletic I am.  I'm in decent physical condition. I don't want to present the the humiliation of sharing some watch-me-suffer-the-extreme-indignities of training. I want to document my progress, such as it is and may be. I don't even really talk about this with my closest friends. They don't know how I wept when I could not run a half marathon for which I had trained religiously in grotesque winter conditions: the first distance race ever for me... after I'd quit smoking (another story, one that has ended very well). Pulled calf: I've never had the injury since, though live in fear. I'll let you know how the suit works out -- a UPS truck will be delivering it in the next day or so.

My main recent training activity has been running, although I am a bit of a gym rat in less than fairweather conditions, which can be extreme in Montreal, where I currently live. I don't own a bike, but I have run over a dozen half marathons and other short distance races in the last three years. The truth is I have not improved my completion times at all. My inaugural 21K race in Toronto three years ago had a PB of 2:20, and I'm not talking peanut butter. My very first officially chip-timed race, a 10K,  resulted in what has become a PB of 1:03. Slow. I know.  Talk about peaking early and ironically, the finishing times have been going kind of downhill since then. I did cross the finish line last on a 5K fun run over fours years ago, but I thought (and still believe) that this had to do more with starting too fast, chatting as I was with the elite runner who eventually won the event.  How was I to know that this colleague (and now friend and mentor) would actually win? Oh how my arms felt like lead pipes and I couldn't breathe: a terrible sensation that I have been cautious not to repeat. You'll meet Barb, the aforementioned elite ultra marathoner and athlete, in this blog soon.

Anyway. I was the last Canadian to cross the half marathon finish line in Phuket, Thailand in last year's Run Paradise race event. Paradise indeed. And, two days ago in a New Year's Morning 10K run, in Toronto, Ontario, hosted by the Longboat Runners once again,  I found myself (last, with my husband, Paul)  behind a lovely 67 year old man who'd recovered from double hip replacement surgery.  We are in the background of all of his congratulatory finish-line photos and later had a wonderful breakfast with him. He's been running for 40 years. So this back of the pack thing isn't really new, but two days ago I almost quit the whole thing and had a kind of crisis. Why am I bothering was all I could ask myself.

I used to say that when something becomes a symbol, it's time to work on perspective. Running as metaphor...something like that.  I wasn't prepared for the symbol to become literal which seems to be happening to me.  My idea is to share something of myself as I train for my first sprint distance triathlon which will be in Jimbaran, Bali on June 24, 2012. I want to speak with other folks who are committed to training to tap into what drives them.  You'll have to believe me when I say that I am also critically aware that running faster would seem to be the most obvious and simple solution to this crise d'esprit. In the meantime,  I've signed up for two other distance races: The Bermuda Race Weekend, coming up January 13-15 (...and I've registered for three events for the Bermuda Triangle Challenge - one miler/10K/half marathon) and the Hollywood Half Marathon in Los Angeles on April 7.

Despite the whining about time, believe me again when I say I'm absolutely grateful to be doing this at all. Join  me in the ups and downs. Mostly ups, I hope. Could writing change the game, even slightly?